I don't maintain a belief because it's convienient or makes sense or puts everything in order. I believe because the world is absurd and chaotic. I believe because I am a member of a global community that suffers, much more than I do, and to be a just part of it I have to somehow break my own selfish internal atheism.
I believe because there's beauty in thinking about individual dignity. I believe because I have to push myself outside of thinking the world is about me. I believe because there has to be a greater point than personal gain, especially when personal gain leaves me so cold. When I believe something that isn't a part of me comes out and somehow makes my life meaningful to others. I won't die without making a moment of peace.
Risk is beautiful and risk is hard. But internal death is worse. I choose life.
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