I'm about to make some life choices and I don't know which way I should lean. In the Fall the structure will change, my community will evolve and spread across the nation even more, and I will begin to stretch my mind again in a formal setting. I'm excited.
At the same time, though, I feel like I need to wait until then to make my path solid and clear. The negative side of community: choices impact everyone. There are times when I sincerely think I should weed out the destructive parts of my communal garden and completely replant. How much suffering should one person undergo because of the missteps of someone else? How long must I wait for a partnership that does service to my goals and ambitions? Dreams were not made to be abandoned--they were given to achieve.
While I wait I have painted myself into a sanctuary. My room has tree limbs and organic shapes to remind me that at any time I can enter the personal place of peace inside and escape the issues that make me feel overwhelmed. Internally there is a hush, a calm, that gives me confidence that with enough effort and self awareness I can bring the inner garden outward. That is the essence of peace, to first make my life a cultivated sanctuary where I can enter and experience true acceptance and love and then extend that calm. World peace starts with my everyday.
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