Affections

I wonder what the difference between admiration and affection are for me; it seems the same energies that draw me to people in general cause attraction when in higher doses. But I never recognize anything right off. Makes me feel dense and unaware, and then confused- am I supposed to feel something? Allow myself to feel something? Is there some method to test these thoughts to make sure they're worth having in the first place? Or is it all left up to chance, power completely in the hands of that person to make a move, say a word, disclose what I would never say out loud? Silence kills it. And then I'm left with wasted time, a wasted blog. And still no answers.